so i have been very stressed out over college work for the past few weeks. I have been sinking all my time into productions which was fun until tulpa. now in normally a bit controlling and angry when I direct video’s. for instance I will never let anyone be on camera unless i possibly do it due to travel or having to do another job. which has meant I normally am the director,producer and camera guy for every shoot. if someone is having a hard time talking to a client i but in and take over the entire production. I hate that I love doing it but i am working on silencing that part of me a little bit.
but tulpa almost pushed me over the edge. by this point everyone is sick of my shit and i just go lone wolf on the final film of my course. but this time I GO BIG. I build a set for no reason and waist a ton of money. i thought the set was going to make everything a ton easier but it did not.
I do not want to go on a giant rant on why i am a giant idiot so i will narrow it to a few things i need to remember.
- never write again [im shit at it and always will be. its way more fun to work with someone else’s idea]
- try to work with other people [ I am shit and making good friends and back talk alot of people without really knowing them. so get out more and shut up about shit i dont know]
- do less work on single projects and narrow down on what i want to do by doing lots of projects.
- finish my course [my course is almost up so instead of procrastinating i should fucking work, but not to much]
- have fun [tulpa had its fun parts but when i was not filming i felt dead. so do other stuff instead of wait for small slithers of fun]
ok emotional explosion over. now for life [don’t worry it will not be long]
middlesex university has accepted me on a conditional offer. so if i get the grade i need i’m moving to london. i need to get out of somerset really badly. nothing really happens here. im close to cardiff and a lot of tv is happening up there right now but most of it is still happening in london. as i don’t have a drivers license and never really plan, i never get the chance to meet up with friends. there all over the county so i hope a working transport system will enable me to go out a bit more.
ok I have lost my train of thought. bye